Resolutions

Last week at work a nice young man (with quite nice hair) stopped by my desk to wish me a Happy New Year and asked if I had any New Year’s Resolutions – I realized that I did not. Not that I usually sit down and write resolutions, but on the first day of January I will often lay in bed, feeling pretty glazed, and make a few mental notes to myself, such as: Do not get hung-over again, go to the gym, be kinder to people, write more and talk less. There are variations on these resolutions (e.g. be healthier, instead of go to the gym, and stop incessantly teasing x person, instead of be kinder, etc.) – but inevitably they are always the same.

Perform a quick survey and you will find that most people’s New Year’s Resolutions are not much different than mine. They are all the same little cupcakes, but with different colored frosting – and most of them are just attempts to redress the wrongs one has committed over the holidays. They have nothing to do with the year as a whole. In fact, they are hardly resolutions at all because you almost never keep them. For example, on December 24th you ate an army of Gingerbread men – resolution: cut back on sweets and get in shape. On December 25th you called your 6 year old cousin Jimmy an asshole in front of the entire family – resolution: be kinder to people.

So how do I get out of this vicious cycle and make some resolutions that really count? (I ask myself as I spout off the same old resolutions to the nicely coiffed young man). One solution is to not make any resolutions at all. That way there is none of the usual disappointment when you realize that you have to make the same resolutions that you made last year. But then again, perhaps the key to making really good resolutions is to make them very specific so that at some point or other during the year I can check them off with a fat, black sharpie. I realize that we’re getting close to mid-January and it’s really too late to be making Resolutions, but I think I’ll try any way.

1. Go to the gym (did not specify how often. went last night. that definitely counts. check!)
2. Go skiing (will be able to check this one off this weekend – score!)
3. When I find myself unemployed on February 3rd do not go apply for a job at Cost Plus (might fail at this one, but if they were all easy, there would be no point.)
4. Write more hand-written letters to the following people: Tracy, Katy, and any person who requests more hand written letters.
5. Give someone a compliment tomorrow that is not related to his or her appearance (what do you think of: Your aura feels really good today! Or, just: You’re nice! hm?)
6. Do not trust other people’s taste in music. I do not care what any of you say, I will never like Abba.
7. Make 2 significant life-style changes that will reduce my use of energy and dependency on foreign oil. Possible option – less blogging. Uses both electricity and finger power. Potentially wasteful and terrorist-supporting activity.
8. Start the Bentley House Society of Unscholarly Activity. Interested? Applications are now being accepted. Weekly meetings will commence in the next few weeks. (Warning: actual formation of this society may be usurped by duties required by All Talk, No Action).